Ask a Storage Aficionado: Zombie-Proof Tupperware Edition

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guy in robe smiling with paper and coffee

The Storage Aficionado starts his day with a carefully brewed cup of Colombia’s finest.

Hi Storage Aficionado,

I’m one of those Apocalypse guys who’s always preparing for the worst. I have too much food for my bomb shelter, but to get rid of it means I’m not preparing for whatever may come. I’m wondering if you have any storage unit tips for keeping large amounts of food fresh for years, or until I need it for the Zombie Apocalypse of 2035?

You’re always welcome to join my squadron,

ACE MACK

Dear ACE MACK,

Excellent question! You can make any storage unit into a Tupperware Container, and I have. It’s easy!

SUPPLIES

Saran Wrap
Caulk
Rubber Tubing
Water-proof Sealant
Vacuum
Food

The Technique: Perfected

  1. Buy between 100-125 Saran Wraps and cover the interior of the storage unit. Don’t forget the floor!
  2. Paint 8-9 coats (5 cans) of water-proof porch sealant on the saran wrap. Let dry.
  3. Caulk a rubber ring around the front door of your storage unit. Picture the lid of a Tupperware container to get the right idea.
  4. Fill storage unit with food surplus you wish to keep fresh.
  5. Exit storage unit, close door leaving a thin crack a vacuum hose can fit through.
  6. Feed vacuum hose into unit. Turn on and suck all remaining air out of the unit.
  7. Quickly slide vacuum hose out and firmly close door.
  8. Crack open door, and quickly shut again to BURP your Tupperware Storage Unit 😉
  9. Enjoy your food surplus anytime.

Extremely smart question. Thanks for writing, and keep those
questions coming!

The Storage ‘Zombie Hunter’ Aficionado

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